Black Friday Phobia

As a young boy I dreaded it and as a grown man I hate it. Understandably the day in question can be a make or break for many an accountants bottom line. Back in the old days the positive numbers went down in black ink in the accountants book. Hence the name, "Black Friday." Black Friday, the day after thanksgiving and the biggest shopping day of the year.

The women folks in my family treat this day as if it were Opening Day of Hunting Season or the Daytona 500. In a way I guess it is. It's all been practice up to this point. The planning that goes into it, developed and worried over, is like a game plan for Sundays NFL game. The strategy's have been fine tuned with years of experience.

As a boy I found no pleasure in being dragged from store to store only to be taken into those sections I had no liking to. My only hope would be to get a distant glance at the toy section from afar. Now as a grown man, with many a married year under my belt, I can avoid the whole thing all together.

Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy the war stories when the troops come staggering back home. Returning with their arms full with the spoils of victory. The tales of great triumphs and near misses. There's always at least one story of an abominable size villain wreaking havoc amongst the well doers and how they narrowly escaped the viscous hooks of the hoarding beast. Each year the beast grows bigger and the girls get braver.

The years that I did tag along as a young married husband doing his due diligence to participate were awful. I don't know if the pain was more physical or mental. All that hurrying to one spot, then slow and slower around the racks was taxing on my legs. Then the questions I had not studied for and problem solving for who to get what was a mental overload. Honestly I would have rather have been back on Parris Island humping a forty pound ruck with a Drill Instructor screaming in my ear.

As in the past, Black Friday will begin at the stroke of midnight on Thanksgiving. Some across this great land of ours will not sleep. At my house my wife and I will rise after a few hours of rest. She will head to her rallying point and I to the safety of my deer stand deep in the big woods.

Steve Phillips

Marietta, GA